So you think you can knit??

This is for all of my readers (the two of you) that always go on and on about my ability to knit absolutely anything, and with the apparent thought that I never, never get frustrated with it.  I envision you thinking that I serenely sit back, knitting, without looking at my hands, with a beatific smile on my face, and a glow to my skin.  

WHAT A LOAD OF CRAP!

I have been knitting for over a week to try to work on a little lacy cowl for a friend of mine.  She has a Bar Mitzvah to photograph at the last part of May.. the 20th to be exact.   The family is Orthodox, so she will need to have her head covered in Temple.  This will be perfect for her.  A cowl will lay around her neck outside, be lovely over her head inside, and is so, so light that she can wear it, even on the hottest days of the summer. 

I hate this thing.  It is a very easy little lace pattern.  Really it is. Two rows, one pattern row, one knit row, and every damn row I was off on the stitches.   I HATE to count stitches on each row.  In my arrogance I checked the errata on line to see if the pattern was written wrong, you know, missing a step?   I found out that I was reading the pattern wrong, and then was okay.. like, "All right, I was just reading this wrong.. I'm such a goober, but it happens." 

So I sat down to work on this again, and yet again... YET AGAIN I am off on the stitches... I was so mad, so fire breathing dragon mad that I did this.....

I cut the whole thing off the needles and recast on the damn thing.. 90 new, long tail cast stitches.  I will start working on it again tonight sometime,  but I had to knit on some socks just to settle my nerves.      

Update on Grandma.. and stuff

Just to let you know  Grandma Betty is doing really well, she had a couple of pins put in, she spent 3 weeks in Rehab and is back home... that woman is my hero.  Actually she is stronger now after 3 weeks of forced labor.. no rest for the wicked I told her.  Things are really great around here, except that I have had no time to pick up my violin, and I have to be the homework Nazi tonight,  helping the 14 year old Sam write "Six and one half paragraphs" (the original assignment is 8 paragraphs, which is an insurmountable task for any spectrum child) this was due on Friday... Last Friday... it's Tuesday.  He has not started this assignment, and will not until I go over, start yelling, cajoling, threatening.  Frankly I'm ready to drowned my angst in the copious amounts of sugar left over from Easter baskets.. I am really looking forward to summer.  No homework.  I bet Pam is looking forward to Summer too.  OHHHHHHH   I am being called into the dark void of homework.. the excuses are starting.. ("I cannot read the notes" is the big one right now) and "Mom, do you know what this says???" was just yelled from the other room.. 

Let us bow our heads and pray for the sanity of  Chelle.

Catch up

I have to take some pictures.. I have a new green hooded sweater.. that is all "Lord of the Rings"-elven like, and I'm making new slippers. I've got yarn on order to choose for another sweater.. I'm on a hoodie kick lately. I'm sure it has nothing to do with Oregon weather, and I've made some adorable hats for my photographer friend.. Oh.. I can show you those.. see..

She is an amazing photographer.. and a really nice lady too. She laughs at my jokes, which is kind of a prerequisite for being my friend.. my ego being what it is..

I'm still learning the violin.. and will be forever. Learning what my instructor calls the "monster instrument to learn" LONG TERM PROJECT.

I had another skype session with Joan.. and I would do a little cool linky thingy to her blog.. which is on the side of my blog.. Joan's Good Life.. if I could but, I'm not a good geek with computers..

I really love Joan. What a great person, she laughs at my jokes a lot. And I totally almost made her spew when I told her she was a chicken shit... but you kinda had to be there. Joan's great for my ego too.

Do you see what you're missing Pam? We need to have a coffee date on Skype.. I love this day and age. When I was a child, the women of the neighborhood would come together and have coffee after all the children went off to school to start their day.. I call it "Coffee table counseling". In my family it is still the best therapy out there.. With skype, my neighborhood now includes Nebraska, and Sody Daisy, Tn. (I love the name of that town).

On the more serious side this morning.. I would ask for some prays for my Grandma Betty, who just turned 93 last month. She fell last night and broke her hip. She has surgery in one hour. She is, far and away, one of my heroes, what a strong, amazing woman, who still has the sense to laugh at herself, and the rest of us-she keeps me humble, she does.

Skyping with my homies

Well, maybe just with one of my homies.. or maybe with Joan.. you know of Joan's good life? Out of the blue on Saturday I get this call from Nebraska.. you know on my caller ID? and my husband says "Nebraska?" like "Really?"

Anywho, it was Joan, saying "If I have to spend one more hour puzzling out this sock heel alone I may just commit sock Hari Kari (that is loosely translated of course.. I'm taking my usual fictional license here) I was thrilled! I was so excited to talk to her, but trying to "show" someone how to knit a short row heel over the phone is more than even my own vocal overachieving self can manage.

She pushed me into it.. (Actually I've been wanting it for ages, it was the perfect excuse!) I went and got a computer camera and set up Skype. And by Sunday afternoon, we were hanging out and I was contorting around to show her how to knit a short row heel..

There were ooohhhs and aaahhhs.. a general all around gushing over the technique ---the only way I do my heels by the by. I was feeling great about the whole thing, until Joan e-mailed me later to confess that she spent her time watching instead of doing and needs to see it again... Now I've been teaching knitting for years and all I can say is "D'OH!"-- because I know better, always, always, always have the student doing most of the work.. not the teacher.. geesh. Sorry Joan, my dear.. my own personal epic fail... I can only blame it on my overwhelming sense of being a Jetson and having video telephone stuff.. I felt all Star Trekkie..

I'll be calling Joan soon.. She has socks to finish..

Oh and Pam, ready to move on past scarves? I'm there for you homie!

Food thoughts

I've been listening to this book..."In defense of Food" by Michael Pollan. I have to say. I really like the main premise of the book.. Basically... and with much simplification, our bodies are not anthropologically ready for all of our Western, processed food. Maybe, someday we will have super insulin ability that will process all that extra glucose without the fiber we need now.. but we're not there yet. Looking around my house I see nothing but processed food.

Oddly enough, I was raised in a very traditional household. (pre 1950's even... my mom grew up on a cattle ranch in Eastern Oregon.. very Eastern.. she did not have running water or electricity until she was 10 years old. Very pioneer upbringing...) Traditional upbringing in the cooking/crafting department that is.. (Mom is a very modern woman.. boys better clean toilets too darn it!)

Apple Pie was still considered breakfast, thank you.. Along with corrizos, eggs, bacon, toast; the normal fare. Everything.. nearly everything was made from scratch.. Store bought cookies? Whatever for? You cannot buy oatmeal date cookies anyway (my favorite, by the way)

I have found my health declining these last several years.. slowly, Thyroid is low, blood sugar up, weight on. Frankly.. I'm tired of it. I have a great sense of humor damn it.. But my vanity has only allowed me so much leeway on this. So this year, I'm trying something new. No diet.

This is the thing.. It is all about what goes in has to be less than what goes out. I know this. If I measure every calorie, I will lose weight very quickly. But I have no time to breathe lately, and no energy to expend on measuring every single morsel. I, instead, purpose to try to be sure that what enters my body follow a whole foods approach. What if I only eat food as we used too? My own whole wheat bread (not slabs of it with loads of butter...but a piece with an egg in the morning for breakfast) -- This, in itself, is an experiment, I've been avoiding wheat (processed) because it's been making me sick for months. What if I have some cheese and a piece of fruit for a snack.. not pudding in a plastic cup? Wrap up some tuna salad in some lettuce leaves.. not bread.

To my foodie friends out there, this may seem an obvious thing. But I am really coming to the realization that I am not able to continue to eat all of this processed crap and still maintain a healthy body... but I am tired of trying to analyze every single morsel that I chew.

I just want to eat without the freak out.

I'm going to bake some bread now.

slightly mad..

I have 5 children in my house right now.. from 9 to 15.. watching Disney channel. I spent all afternoon grocery shopping (Costco, then groceries) then putting away the groceries.. cleaning the fridge (kinda) and then doing the resulting dishes. Then making dinner (it was late). There are now dishes to do again.. I need to get up to go to work at 4:00 am (yeah, I work every other Sat.) and right now, while I write a very short post this day.. this day in which I have not touched either yarn or violin.. the kitchen sink is drip, drip,drip,drip,dripping because the last child that but his dish in the sink from dinner did not turn it all the way off..... I'm off to save the earth by finishing the dishes and stopping a drip. My sanity will be a bit harder to save I think...

Can I get a witness??

Silent Crafting.

You may know that I work in a call center.. I like my job, even given all the jokes out there about customer service.. I've had horrible service too... But I've been doing this work for 20 years, and frankly I'm very good at it. It's an acting job really. Improv. One call there is a woman on the phone whose son just died, the next call a young woman is calling to change her name because she just got married.. you need to keep up with the emotions of the caller. Not everyone is made for this job, and many, many reps are there for 6 months to a year before they just walk out. True story.

Today however, I am not at work because I have a bad chest cold that caused me to have laryngitis. The only way to treat this is to shut up. Do not speak, do not yell at the children (nasty looks and a coach's whistle are what I resort to for scolding...) Lots of hot beverages to soothe your voice box, and with any luck.. peace and quiet. Once your voice box has been damaged, it will react quickly and swell up to protect itself from more damage.. one of the most reactive muscles of your body. This is why, when I get a chest cold.. I always end up silent.. It almost kills me, every time.

Today however I am going to be working on crafting. I have this huge list of things that need my attention. Some big projects, some small.. The list is on my dry wipe wall.. see?

I may try to get some of the little things done.. like "fix Monica's slipper", that wouldn't take long. I am, however in a race to finish a baby blanket for the neighbor lady, who is expecting a baby girl after 3 boys... here it is so far.. And yes, there is a cat underneath it, who can find a surface in my house not used by a cat?

Here is a bit of a close up on the pattern.. If you want it Joan let me know.. I'll mail you a copy. Wait until you see it done.. It has a fancy lacy edge too.. I have 3 little girls to make gifts for, so I may do another of these too.. frankly I started this yesterday morning. It goes quickly.


And then, last but not least, and as comedic relief.. I finished a dog coat for a friend of mine. I'd never done such a thing before, and wanted to make sure that it would work.. So I grabbed someone close to size and tried it on him..

I know that it was not kind.. and he was not amused.. in the royal sense of the word. But the family got a really big laugh out of this. And hey.. it fit, so another success.