2010 Who'da thunk it... What a very long year the Kafooster family has had. 2009 started with a surgery in February, and ended with an emergency in December and there was all kinds of wonderful, and yuck in between. There didn't seem to be a lot of just nice and easy anywhere in the year.
Although there has been many, many difficult changes this year, there are so many things that I am so very grateful for.
Sam has really grown and matured, he is gaining a subtlety of mind that I am increasingly impressed with. He is learning to take breaks away from that which annoys (or really upsets) him without prompting. He collects himself and rejoins the group with a sense of humor instead of a rage. Those of you who know Asperger's will be impressed, those of you who do not, just understand, that if I can teach anything to my children to insure their success in this world, this is one of the most important. And he is not quite 13. I am immensely proud.
Ben is also really maturing, just a few post ago he was at that "I know! I know!" stage, but he seems to have left that behind, and is more open to listening. He has also finally understood that just because he speaks differently than everyone else (he has a slight disfluency, or stutter) this does not make him stupid. He is finally understanding what we have known all along, that he is a brilliant, and most of all wonderfully kind and caring young man. Again, I am so amazingly proud.
The biggest change, one of the hardest, and I would say the biggest blessing, was that this was the year that John started to learn sobriety. The world of alcoholism is such a closed one. There are so few people that we tell, there are so few people that we share that big grief with, and it becomes such a huge, consuming piece of our lives. While John has gotten sober, I have had to work so hard, still have to work hard at trying to not question where he is, has he been drinking that day? The little quick assessment that is done as he walks in the door has started to fall away, and it is not the first thing I think of.
John has worked so hard, and still works hard everyday. I have learned that there is no perfection in sobriety, there is no absolute, I have great faith however. Great faith in John's absolute burning desire to stay sober, to maintain this lifestyle for the rest of his life, one day at a time, and amazing, great faith in the Good Lord God to watch over him, and lift him up and help him day to day. And to watch over us all.
2010 brings opportunity, to continue on our way. I hope to continue to reach out and help those who need me. I hope to help put together a class for all denominations of faith in our area on how to include autistic students in all kinds of services, and to make the families more comfortable about being in church, or temple, or whatever.. I hope to help as many individuals as will need me, to understand their autistic child and how to help them grow and be comfortable in this world that will not change for them, but can accept them. I know that this is my calling. I also really hope to get more organized in home, and in body.. this is NOT my calling, but my own personal devil, so I will try to conquer it with a lot of lists...
So 2010! May you be blessed, may you see us continue to grow, hopefully not as painfully as 2009, but in faith, in strength and together as before and as always.
And so should 2010 be for all of you as well!
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