Random Thoughts again..

1. When I'm knitting, and starting a new project (baby hat right now) and it requires ribbing, I find myself thinking about each stitch as I go around the cast on.. as long as it takes to get the stitch on the needle... knit... puuuurrrrrrrl... knnnit... puuurrl.. knit...purrrrrrrrrrrrrl.. knnnnnnidangit... purrrrl.  all the way around the beginning.  I do it every time.

2. When I weigh myself in the morning.  I always exhale as much breath as possible before I step on the scale.

3. It never really makes a difference in the weight, I still do it anyway.

4.  I love listening to Ben laugh over something on the Internet he's watching, because, like his father, laughter sneaks up on him and is torn out of his body, almost against his will. It sounds wonderful.

5. I always think about the Christmas gifts I'll make for people starting in August, but I never get around to starting them until December.   I think it's a knitter thing.. or a crafter thing.  I don't want to appear elitist.

6.  My spelling has continued to suck throughout my life, regardless of how many books I read, thank God for spell check. 

7.  I keep thinking, "I could be cutting out Madie's doll right this moment, but I'm typing instead"  I know that I will some time today, but I still feel guilty about typing now. 

8.  I will always have scads of yarn and sheet music strewn about. 

9.   My house may never, ever be clean.

10.  There is no real # 10, it just felt wrong to stop on # 9.

Old Things.

Do you have an old article of clothing you love? One that you've had longer than your children?  I do.  It's a shirt.  I bought it in college I think, the late 80's, just a standard Henley T, long sleeved.  It started out pink.  It's traveled with me, not always fitting me, it's one of those skinny clothes that I just cannot part with, because I'll be in it again.. I will.  Now, of course, I am.  Over the course of these many years, I've had to dye it, black, to cover the amazing amount of stains that can accumulate on a light pink shirt.   When I dyed it black, like 10 years ago, I changed the buttons.   One of the two buttons that was still on it fell off in the wash today, and I thought
"I have to go to Joann's and get buttons."  Then I thought,
"Crap, I can't really buy buttons right now, John's just been laid off." 
Yeah, it's true, actually his last day will be Dec 2nd.  He has been working at THE newspaper in Oregon for 28 years now.  He is working really hard to figure out how to reinvent himself at 50.  This is not really what this post is about.. just background.. bad couple of weeks for sure, anyway.
Then I thought.
"Mum's buttons!"

You know, the buttons that I have, in old glass jars, I grabbed them out and started looking for the right ones.   I found them, actually Ben helped me finish the last choosing, the "Do we go with the black or the grey?"  We went with black. 

But this is the thing, this is the connection, once again.  The reason that we cut the buttons away from the clothes that are too worn to wear.  They can be used again.  They can come in handy and dress an old piece of clothing up. The saving done 50 years ago, can give a granddaughter a new lease on an old, beloved shirt.  I know that it sounds strange to so many people out there, but I believe we are all coming to this more and more with our economy, I see this at work all the time, (I work for a credit card company) people's habits are changing, a lot of people, and I am glad of it.  I'm thinking more of the things that I can make this year for Christmas, and I'm looking at the pantry for dinner fixings more that a quick trip to the store.  Old story, new generation.  Old buttons, new shirt.

Writing Poems with Sam

Once upon a time, I was a poet.  You know, really a writer and stuff... not a blogger and a mom.  Sam had an assignment to write a poem for Freshman English.  His teacher, being wise, and listening to me when I told her to give him a choice of two topics not any choice he wanted gave him the choice of a poem about his mom, or game design.   He chose the latter, and of course needed help with it the day after it was due.  This is my world.   However tonight Sam and I spent several hours on this.  I hope you like it as well as we do.

Game design

The scent of Sour cream and cheese wafts up the nostrils of Creator, the smell sickens his stomach, but he is addicted to the taste, the crunch.  The sweetness of sarsaparilla deluges down his throat making his tower smell of a children’s brewery.

The screen of the computer bursts with the genius and failures of Creator.

Reams of parchment and piles of incandescent chroma quills are scattered manically with renderings of Creators madness.

Gentle depressions driving alphabetic wonder willing Creator’s thoughts into being. Drum, Drum, Drum rhythmically tapping imagination into reason

Creator grasps a parchment, who pops with joy, as it was chosen by creator to preserve his thought.  A quill is frantic with elation as it is cradled with love, knowing it will preach Creators decree to all corners of the world

Tortured by a full bladder, Creator knows that if he leaves for even a moment a stroke of brilliance could be forever lost.

Creator scrutinizes his cosmos; does it need a behemoth serpent ruling like an emperor over his tundra?   Should trees murmur mournfully as the sun sets in the south?  

There should be rain… there should be glowing hearths in the homes of the good hearted… there should be little brothers to plague the hero, and to lead him into sacrifice.

Creator gazes upon what he has brought forth.

Bushes baring fruit, sweet as that of a first cherry, tear wrenching sunrises to burst the heart with beginnings.

Gliding, glimmering sand slips from the dunes. Dunes collapse into an ocean, cascading with the fury of the overlord within.

Creator stretches, his back cracking with a familiar chorus of sedentary aches, his mind reeling with unparalleled conceits. The seventh day approaches. 

Time to journey to the World Of Warcraft.

Halloween costume

I just have to say... the scarf is for my niece, but we put it around Sam and there you go... Hogwarts in Hillsboro.. 

Now I have two more Griffindor, and one Hufflepuff scarfs to make.. before Halloween.  yeah, okay, chunky yarn.. so I can do this right?

Did I sign up for this..

You know.. I'm trying so hard to get back into shape.   And in the last 4 months or so, I've lost 30 pounds.  This is a huge amount of weight when you are 5' 1".  I still have another 15-20 or so to go, and I've stepped it up a notch by putting running back into my life.  I used to run long distance in school.. High school, and College.  Not on any team, just going out for 3-5 mile runs a day.. whenever I felt like it, because in that day and age my lungs did not feel the need to explode at this type of exercise.  I've just started a 1st day to 5K podcast trainer on my Ipod.  First day today, went really well, and as I cool down, and listen to my children haggle with each other about whatever it is that they feel is worthy of argument at this moment, I wonder if I understood that parenthood would include this kind of constant refereeing. 

Another random thought for you.. I started playing the violin July 2010.. still working on this daily.. loving it, and with the running and the losing weight, my very sweet (and young) neighbor commented the other day that she is sure I'm going through my midlife crisis.  

Apparently I'm old enough now that learning new things, and getting in shape is not to be taken at face value. 
This must be a milestone in some way... right?  

E-mails to an Asperger's mother from the new High School teacher and the response...

Subject: sample for biome poster

Hi, Michelle,

Here is a sample for Sam’s biome poster in Bio. He can do a powerpoint instead of drawing on the poster he was given. He can just swap out the pics in this one and replace them with others he finds on-line. Would also be helpful to reword things.

You were on the phone at the PERFECT time today! Not only did he not have the algebra assignment when he came down here, but his English teacher reported he was sleeping in class. So he couldn’t take the notes which will be used for a quiz on Friday. I let Sam know about this, and he said he would take the quiz anyway. We also talked about solving the problem by asking for a copy of the notes. But again, the perception of the teacher who doesn’t know Asperger’s could be that he is capable of taking notes and has chosen to sleep without seeing it as being overwhelmed.

Wanted your thoughts on whether or not Sam shuts down by sleeping. Is he overwhelmed when we see this?


Thanks, Kristina


_________________________________________________________________________________

RESPONSE:

Okay...


Sam would like to discuss options for staying focused during classes that bore him (his words not mine) he did let me know that the lecture today was on plagiarism.. and that he was awake, just had his head down .. take that with a salt lick, but anyway.. I have let him know that I expect him to be putting his very best foot forward to make his high school work a priority... and that I will yank all things computer away if he does not.. also he will not be getting a job when he is old enough if he cannot handle his school. He is just finishing work on problems on math now.. he thinks he remembers them all... and if you could just check that he has them all done 1st period tomorrow, that would great. Also.. I'm not sure I understand the biome poster assignment. He is expected to do a 64 page power point assignment? Is that what you intended to send me? I have nothing on what the biology poster is supposed to be about, and I couldn't find the assignment in any of his folders. I have separated all the folders into subjects.. Sam has them color coded.. Do you think we can encourage Sam to use the damn things (I'm reading out loud to him :) ) and place his assignments in each folder so we can find out what needs to be done, and when... I would love a planner and would pay if needed....

gasp... deep breath..

I swear by all that is right and holy and I intend to have him go forward and do this work that is required, because I know that he is capable...

gasp... another deep breath...


Also, is there a web site where the teachers place the homework on? like a site on the school website where they will list the homework for the night so I can double check it that way? Just a thought.

Thank you for listening to my rambles... by the way.. no, Sam does not deal with being overwhelmed by sleeping.. he just goes off by himself for awhile. (he was just reading over my shoulder and corrected my spelling of "awhile".. and confirmed that I was correct)

He was laying his head down because he was irritated and bored.. not due to being overwhelmed...

sigh.

chelle

Another project to finish

So, years ago, when my mom and aunt went through my mum's things, after she had been placed in a facility, as she needed 24 hour care, my mom brought home some of mum's things to me.  Some old buttons that were collected over years, that I treasure, and then quite a lot of these..

These transfers are for flour sack towels. Now, many people today do not know why flour sack towels are called that... let me explain, because it's a rant that I've been meaning to share, and this is my soap box, damn it. so.. 

Flour used to come in sacks, not made of paper, paper was very expensive to make, flour came in "sacking" you know, white material.  This was not wasted, it was used, for undergarments for children (my mom for example) or, they were cut out, and hemmed for use for drying the dishes.  Who had dishwashers after all?  This is where the rant begins, hold on.

Women had much work to do, but humans have always wanted to surround ourselves with art, with beauty, we crave it.  Women especially have tended to fill their everyday, practical possessions with beauty.  Not art to be hung on the wall, but art that was used, worn, covered our children's and our husband's bodies, and their beds.  Quilts, socks, sweaters, shawls, blankets, we've made them from new materials when we could afford it, and out of scraps of old things (old dresses became quilt pieces when the dresses could no longer be worn) so as not to waste anything.. who could afford to waste? Striped socks, after all, were striped only because you needed to use up bits of yarn that was left over from other projects. This is a rant, because so many of my friends, when I make things for them, don't want to use them, they want to frame them and put them on a wall... or I see these flour sack towels at antique shows.. like old furniture.

And we made our flour sack towels beautiful too.. my mother told me that my mum used to take seven towels with her during election day, when she and my mother's aunts would man the polls for the town, and she would take the embroidery floss, and each woman would get a towel.  By the end of the day, mum would come home with a new set of seven, the colors chosen by the woman doing the work.  I imagine that they discussed this with each other casually.  I bet my mom could tell, when mum got home, which aunt did which towel.. knowing my mom, I bet she tried to guess. My mom learned to embroidery on flour sack towels.. for that matter, so did I... After my first, laborious cross stitch, I still avoid cross stitch.

Circling back to the point, when I got those Aunt Martha's stamps, I tried to iron on the one in the picture up there (before the rant) and it was in red, and too faint to see.  I was so disappointed, I set the towels aside, they've been in a box for years.  The day I got home from my mum's funeral, John wanted to go to Joanne's for some gold ribbon for his Knug Fu belt... I went to the embroidery section (not my usual section as you know.. I was called, I swear) and I found this... just one was there...

It looked more modern, but is the exact same stamping... So instead of knitting lately, I've been working on these. 

 I've been asking various people at random intervals to pick out colors, people at work have gotten used to this, I had someone gripe at me the other day.. "HEY! it was my turn to pick the color for the guy's shirt!" (true story!)  My thought was to try to duplicate the different color choices that would have come that election day with my mum and all of my Great Aunts.  I'm starting the 5th one today, I've promised Sam that he can pick the color for the lettering (I always start there) but I'm going to be picking up my mom soon and we are going shopping today... I want her to pick out colors for the last one.  It's only fair.  

I will be using them, of course.  The ones I did way back in 2008 (you can see them in the history of the blog) have been well used, and need to be retired, they are stained with strawberry pop, and something greasy that John was cleaning up (God help me).  But these are to be USED, to be a part of every day. And I will save the old ones, maybe send them off to my quilting friends, they can use the old panels for quilting blocks.  Waste not, want not.. and everyday life, even doing the dishes, should be beautiful.