Warshing

I got the following in an email---

Something that SHOULD make you realize just how good you have it!

Washing Clothes Recipe

Never thought of a 'washer' in this light before. What a blessing! Imagine having a recipe for this!
Years ago an Alabama grandmother gave the new bride the following recipe: This is an exact copy as written and found in an old scrapbook - with spelling errors and all.

WARSHING CLOTHES

Build fire in backyard to heat kettle of rain water. Set tubs so smoke wont blow in eyes if wind is pert. Shave one hole cake of lie soap in boilin water.

Sort things, make 3 piles

1 pile white,

1 pile colored,

1 pile work britches and rags.

To make starch, stir flour in cool water to smooth, then thin down with boiling water.

Take white things, rub dirty spots on board, scrub hard, and boil, then rub colored don't boil just wrench and starch.

Take things out of kettle with broom stick handle, then wrench, and starch.

Hang old rags on fence.

Spread tea towels on grass.

Pore wrench water in flower bed. Scrub porch with hot soapy water.

Turn tubs upside down.

Go put on clean dress, smooth hair with hair combs. Brew cup of tea, sit and rock a spell and count your blessings.

Oh yes... I am thankful.. this was my grandmother's life for 12 years after she married my grandfather and moved to the cattle ranch with no electricity or running water.. and my mother was 10 before the power and water came.. so she got to help in this process. And because Amuma (Basque for grandmother) came from the south, the spelling is perfect. John even teases me because I sometimes say warsh. My mom says it every time..

I always remember when I have to wait in a grocery line, and I've said it to many of you, we are blessed that we do not need to grow the wheat for our bread, or raise the cow and slaughter it for the hamburger. The vegetables and fruit that we pick up and buy today, 70-80 years ago we would either have to grow ourselves, or would have never even heard of.

What is 10 minutes of waiting in a long line, with a poor checker who is stressed out, trying to go faster so people don't get nasty about the wait, compared to a whole season of growing and butchering to get a years supply of food that was much more sparse that what we have now?

Oh yeah.. and 100 years ago, my body was the height of beauty! All those size 4's were considered consumptive, and a risk to marry. There were books out to help skinny people plump up! Take that Twiggy!

Heavens to Betsy!!

I've been blogged!!

So this morning, my friend Amy (remember the one I promised I would throw the load of laundry in for --first posting people!) called me to let me know that PortlandParents.net had a posting... about me.. WOW! THANKS! I'm all verklempt. Okay, here it is:

Where the Heck is Kafooster?

November 17, 2008

The Queen of Kafooster is a wickedly funny mother of two energetic boys. Her post about the “insignificant booger” is a must-read. She’s a great Portland Parent who we’d love to keep tabs on. And if Obama doesn’t fix the US, we’d be happy to move to Kafooster, wherever that is. We just need to know what kinds of clothes to pack.

Of course, the funny thing about the Obama comment, is that my friend Ana, who convinced me to do this blogging thingy, told me, when I called her to say that I was caving in and starting a blog, "Great! The economic crisis will be over by tomorrow night!"

That's an inside chuckle that I thought I'd share... With an extremely long sentence that may not be grammatically correct..

Seriously though, if you are following along (and I am shocked that anyone is) you should be aware of the meaning of Kafooster.

According to the "New Dictionary of American Slang":

Kafooster: Useless talk; babble; bulls**t (family site, remember?)

Yes, (sigh) I know, I have a slang dictionary. I warned you that I was Hermione-ish. I freely admit it, I have been addicted to words for a very long time. You will recall that while I was running for the Office of Queen, I never denied that I inhaled them.

So now you know, Kafooster is not so much a place, as a state of mind...

Which reminds me, please remember to read and agree to the Mental Health Disclosure before continuing to read this blog.

Really, it's for your own good.

Yarn trumps plastic.

This is the fob that opens the door, and turns on the engine of Chelle's car.

This is the fob whose key chain connection broke, whose maker said that it would be $75.00 to replace.





Sweetest of husbands said, "I bet you can knit something around that!"

Brilliant husband.


This is the cover, over the fob that opens the door and turns on the engine of Chelle's car.




This is the key chain that now holds the yarn covered fob, that opens the door, and turns on the engine on Chelle's car.





This is the cat that tried to help...




Brilliant knitters...

$75.00 for yarn...

Mental Health Disclaimer... you have been warned.

My brother, Eric, just got back from out of town and got the e-mail that I sent out showing him the blog. His response was this.. and I do quote.

as for the blogg'in I'm not sure its an all together good idea to unleash the babbling of our family on the world with out some sort of help line available.
please keep this in mind.

Eric makes an excellent point, and because I do not have the capital needed to open up a call center large enough to handle the call volume that particular help line would create, please read and agree to the following before continuing to read, and/or visit the "Queen of Kafooster" blog.

I, the reader, hear by understand and agree that I, the reader, am solely responsible for all physical, mental, and emotional reactions that reading the "Queen of Kafooster" blog may cause. I, the reader, understand that the writer of the "Queen of Kafooster" is not always entirely balanced and can occasionally write something that may cause uncontrollable rapid eye ticks in the reader. I, the reader, also understand that said rapid eye ticks may never go away. I agree to stop reading immediately if my eyes start to burn out of my sockets, or I suddenly develop a rash on any area of my body.

Futhermore, I understand that because the writer of the "Queen of Kafooster" comes from a family equally unbalanced, any comments and/or babble left by members of said family are also void from any litigation.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Veteran's Day...

It's Veteran's day, so I'm giving a shout out to all the veterans out there. To all who have served our country, Thank you. This means you, John (my DH), Brian, (one of the four brothers) Monica (the aforementioned brother's wife, and good friend) her brother, my Dad, Gerry, (who also served his community as a sheriff deputy for too many years to count) Patrick, good friend and God father to my children, (and all of his and John's buddies from the Air force) David (the coolest grocery guy ever!) who is going back to the middle east after Christmas. Everyone else that I've forgotten, forgive me.. even if you did not service in any war, you gave years of your life away to Uncle Sam, for that I thank you.

The kids are out of school today (weird in the middle of the week) and they have homework to do (including the elder.. damn I wish the testing would have lasted longer.) So I am about to become the EVIL mother figure that insists that all math be finished before the television is turned on. SIGH!

You would have thought that at least one of my children would have become the Hermione Granger that I was in school. I was actually a cross between Hermione and Daria from MTV. Strange combination, I know, but hey, it worked (works?) for me. I can say without a doubt that the people who love me, actually love me for who I am, everyone else slides away from me sideways with a look of "My God! who, or what is that?!"

I have been told, more than once, that at first meet many individuals have really not cared for me, (I'm being nicer than they were.. this is a family blog) but then later came to love and adore me (one said "couldn't live without me", how nice and warm and fuzzy is that?)

So I categorized myself with mushrooms.. at first glance, ick. But after stroganoff, how can you do without? --Still, not for everyone. Yep, you heard it here first, I'm like a fungus, I grow on you... (Sorry for that, it just typed itself.)

Insignificant booger

I know I already wrote today, but really I cannot, not write about this one..

So the boys are sitting at the computer table watching Mario videos on Youtube, and I walk by while Sam is picking his nose and, unthinkingly, wipes the booger under the edge of the computer desk... eeeww.

So I three finger thump the back of his head and give him the evil eye, and he returns a blankly confused look to me. I say nothing, just walk into the bathroom, grab a Kirkland brand wipe that I keep in there for the little boy splashes (remember those?) and walk back out to him and hand him the wipe..

"Wipe that off now!"

"Wipe what off?" said with another blankly confused look

"You just wiped a booger underneath the edge of the computer desk, wipe it off."

"Oh Gawd mom! Nobody cares about an insignificant booger!"

"Oh my gawd Sam," (says Jordan, Sam's best friend) "INSIGNIFICANT BOOGER, say that again!"

Really... you can't make this kind of thing up.

Things I am grateful for..

Okay, it's Sunday.. I'm back from church and thinking of things that I am grateful for, which include, but are not limited too..


Cheese cake



That my DH (darling husband) and I still have our jobs.



P.T.-- Physical Therapy.. I know, normally known as pain and torture, but I broke my shoulder in July and if I don't do this everyday my arm hurts more!.. (and yesterday I sort of forgot that , and am paying for that today..) ahem

Someone else cleaning out the cat box... I am always thankful for that...when it actually happens. Again, ahem (said with a slightly more hint-like tone)

My friends.. all of who (whom?) are incredibly cool, much like me. (no, really I am!)

Sock yarn.. oh and most any alpaca yarn (Sock yarn that has alpaca? Hold that woman back boys!)

And lastly, that this month, for whatever reason, my oldest boy's school is doing testing and he doesn't have homework. This is the greatest of all right now, because, honestly, I don't think, what with going back to work for the first time in four months this last week, (remember the shoulder?) I could have taken the "But this is so pointless!" comment as he melted out of the kitchen chair like a Dali painting.

So speaking of Alpaca sock yarn, and my oldest boy Sam. I'm working on socks for him now out of paca-peds tie dye.. his choice, God bless the boy, he loves color. I love that about him. When I made him a sweater for kindergarten, he chose a rainbowy color. At first, he chose pink, I nixed that, not because I had a problem with it, (I thought it was cool) but that I didn't want him to be beat up on the very first day of school ever. When I told him that the rainbowy color would be really bright, he said, with a very solemn face, "It's never too bright for me, mom." I'm glad that he hasn't out grown that. I hope he never does.

here they are. in progress, toe up, k2 p2 ribbing.




The cats really like two socks on circs because there is always a sock to attack while I am knitting on the other one.. sigh.

ERIC! I really am working on that hat of yours, but I've ripped it out, like 18 times. I am not even kidding, and the original idea of shadow knitting it? It is so not working -- so I am working on a skull hat, and a regular k2 p2 (that would be knit 2 purl 2) ribbing watch cap too.. I will get that bald head of yours warm soon. I promise.

Toliet seats.. No, Reallly!

Okay Ana.. I've caved, I have. I'm blogging..

This morning, while I was doing my swipe and swish (google "The Fly Lady" for an explanation people) my wooden toilet seats, with the brass hinges finally gave out. I was elated.. finally I get to buy new toilet seats.

Now, mind you, I bought these 4 years ago, because, the little boy splatters are not nearly as see-able on the wood as on the white. (Come on, I'm a busy lady!) but the brass hinges were the real mistake... guess what happens to brass when it meets little boy splashes...



have you guessed yet?



Well, let's just say the Statue of Liberty is the same color of the hinges... if you get my meaning. Not wanting to spend money on the reconstruction of the hinges (well, it isn't the same as the Statue of Liberty, is it!) I decided that new toilet seats are in order.


But not just any toilet seats.. no! I wanted the cheesiest toilet seats possible.

I went to Lowe's first, and while I was speaking to Ana... long distance (I love the "no charges for long distance" thingy on the cell phone) I discovered that the toilet seats there had way too much class.. so I went to Target and found them!



Isn't that great! Now I can tell if the boys have flushed the toilet without lifting up the lid.


Who am I kidding? PUT THE LID DOWN? REALLY?

I have a theory. The reason that toilet seats are never put down by men, is that the mother spends the first 18 years teaching the young gentlemen to lift the seat up. (Please, momma doesn't want to sit in that at 3:00 am again.. okay sweetie?) So.. there is no time for the "seat going down" training before they move out...



So I live in Hillsboro, Oregon. Close to Portland. When people ask me, "Does it really rain as much as they say out there?" I just say... yes. Yes it does.


Today the boys and I were taking full advantage of the down pour. There has been some construction on our street lately and the workers have left a pile of asphalt in front of the storm drain, (these things are really, really important here in Oregon, take my word on this.) and this gave the boys and I a perfect opportunity for some really excellent puddle jumping (wading, really) see...









Now Eric... I really wanted you to know that I'm doing my very best to teach your nephews how to really, really take advantage of a nice big puddle. Sam has got it down, he was using his hands to scoop water onto his brothers back.. yeesh.


The pile of laundry is on the entry way rug to prove it.


I'll put them in the washer right away Amy.. I promise! Right after I finish another row on Sam's sock.. really..